So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
