So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
