well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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