chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Enjoy the penises
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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