hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just want nice things and good sex
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
