every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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