I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
