ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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