it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
