are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize