Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
