Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
