I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
