Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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