I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
