I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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