all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
