I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
