if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
