Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
