whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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