I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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