Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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