I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
