dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
