i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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