C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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