There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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