I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
