i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
