you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
