I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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