Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
