You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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