Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
