He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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