this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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