you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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