yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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