If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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