Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
