using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
