I hate your face
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
