I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
