ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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