He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
last night I used snow as a chaser
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
