we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
