What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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