just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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