I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
