New low: just hacked my moms facebook
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
