Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
