Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
