I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
