My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
