new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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