My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
