Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
