3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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