I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
