Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
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